Have you ever felt absolute hopelessness and even stopped asking “Where can I find happiness?” Have you felt like it in recent times, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic? If your answer is ‘Yes”, then perchance, you might need to go through this article, as it may help you get some clarity about your feelings.
This article is meant to succour you to figure out if you need to look harder, look elsewhere, or simply create a new world of happiness. The guarantee is, you will find it one way or another.
What is Happiness?
‘Happiness’ is an abstract concept. Not only do different people find happiness in different things, but also, every individual perceives happiness differently. We all express our happiness differently. There is no specific place where one can find one’s happiness because one doesn’t really know for sure what will help.
What is Contentment?
People sometimes use the words ‘happiness’ and ‘contentment’ interchangeably - but they are not the same. However, they can often come hand-in-hand though. Contentment is a sense of fulfilment, satisfaction, or peace. Contentment can give rise to happiness but we can also feel happy if we are not content. ‘Contentment’ is basically not an emotion but rather a state of mind marked by permanence. Whereas ‘Happiness’ is more intense but could be short-lived. So, now if you’re questioning whether you can find happiness without contentment, the answer is yes.
For example, when you discover that your crush likes you too, you are most likely to feel happy, excited, and hopeful. But it does not suggest that you are content. You could still want more, right? You would want to date your crush and find out what the future holds.
This brings us to defining ‘Contentment’. Contentment would come when you already are in a relationship with the person. You feel at peace and safe in the relationship. Contentment emanates from a sense of stability from a situation where you will think with certitude that you have a source of long-lasting happiness.
How to Find Happiness
Happiness can come from any sense of achievement. Achievement is invariably complemented by happiness and it can come to your life in both expected and unexpected ways.
Here are the common ways to be happy.
The right kind of company
Happiness is achieved in the company of like-minded people. If pessimistic people can bring us down, optimistic people can lift us. Hence, it is important to surround ourselves with happy people who will refuel our positive attitude. However, positivity is not to be confused with toxic positivity. Toxic positivity dismisses negative emotions. It is a lazy victim-blaming approach towards sadness or dejection. True positivity validates all sorts of feelings and understands them independently so that we can deal with them instead of bottling them up to hide from unhelpful criticism.
Nostalgia
Happy memories could make you feel like “This is where I find happiness”. Even though nostalgia often evokes a quiet sadness by making us miss those happy times from our past, people often tend to fall back on happy memories from the past instead of focussing on their present state where they may or may not be happy. But it is all about the attitude. We can always revisit happy events even if we do have enough of them in the present.
Also, it helps if we can develop an attitude where we are happy for having been blessed with those happy moments in our past in lieu of being sad for the same not being there anymore. Of course, this applies only to cases where it is natural for things to end. For instance, we cannot expect positivity from a person who has just lost a dear family member or friend.
Through Collective Goals
Humans are social creatures and studies have shown that we thrive in a community. A community is where there is a common goal that benefits everybody, and everybody works towards it. And it is through these collective goals, that we can find happiness for all. Collective goals make us happy in a two-pronged way. We feel happy when we help others because the noble act gives meaning to our life, making us feel capable. We also feel happy when others help us because it makes us feel valued and cared for.
Building our Self-Esteem
Happy people, who are surrounded by supportive family and friends, obviously have far more self-esteem than others. But even those who don’t have a healthy support system can be happy by building self-esteem. If you are now searching for your fair share of happiness, then it might be a good idea to check if you are surrounded by toxic relationships. If you are, then you need to fix the situation. You may consider going for a therapy session to learn how to recognize and get away from toxic, narcissistic, abusive people. Those who are not made to feel valued need to learn that they have value in just existing. They aren’t only valuable when they are useful. Sometimes, it takes therapy to really believe that. And your therapist can be a friend, family member, mentor or professional therapist. But sometimes, we can help ourselves just by choosing to believe in ourselves. Just like we value others for just being, we can do the same for ourselves.